I would feel triggered AF at every baby shower, gender reveal, baby announcement, hell - even pregnant bellies on the street, wondering why them and not me.
Jealousy, comparison and heartbreak constantly flooding my entire body.
Eventually, all of the doing, controlling, fertility f*ckery that messes with your head every single day of every single month, finally got the best of me. And fertility burn out kicked my ass.
I realized that not only was all this hypervigilance affecting me mentally and emotionally, it was depleting me physically. And my body gave me a very clear message… this is NOT the path to your baby.
And that’s how I can tell you with complete conviction, that doing everything “right”, doing everything you “should” be doing, throwing everything at this, and trying to be as perfect as possible in the process, is not going to serve you on this particular project (AKA project baby!)
But because we’re living in a culture that praises perfection, that convinces us that logic is superior to intuition, that working harder will allow us to achieve more, that broken bodies require medical intervention… we’re convinced that WE must be the problem.
We’re not doing something right, we must be the problem, we need to do more.
My body is broken, and we layer on more shame, blame and guilt for not getting pregnant as easily as everyone else and attach more pressure to this baby.
Because without it we don’t feel enough, we’re not worthy, we’re not good enough and we don’t feel validated in this high-achieving world we live in.
And it is this approach to fertility that drives burn out, dysregulation, overwhelm and a complete disconnection to the very body that we want to conceive, gestate and birth our baby.
And if you’re reading this now and nodding your head, I want you to know something… this isn’t your fault, this is the way we’ve been conditioned to think, act and behave in today’s modern society.
Your body is not broken, and your body CAN heal… the cells in your body are responding every day to the messages we send it… and you have so much more influence over your fertility than you’ve been led to believe.
We just need to shift your approach to your fertility and magical AF things can happen…
Just let that sink in for a moment…